Luke’s first Staples

So when I wrote the title to this post, Luke’s FIRST staples it made me feel like I was implying this is going to happen again which I hope not because it was defiantly one of the worst experiences I have had as a parent thus far. But I do have 2 boys on my hands and if Ryde is anything like his big bro I’m in trouble! So last Friday I took my traveling circus to Aunt Tess’s house for some leisure time with the fam dam but once again I was sadly mistaken! Not 20 mins into our stay we were headed to the emergency room for the first time. Luke was outside playing with the dogs and some squirt guns that Aunt Tess had laying around out back along with some much beloved side walk chalk. Luke loves side walk chalk but not for the purpose of drawing on the side walks, oh no that would be too easy, he likes to draw on things you wouldn’t normally draw on, lawn furniture, grills, decks, etc… So I’m inside getting Ryde situated out of his car seat and and getting him settled when I hear Luke start screaming out side. I open the screen door and hes running toward me crying. I pick him up and ask what happen and he says hurt and I ask him where as I set him down and pull pup his shorts and sleeves looking for what he he’s talking about. I can’t find anything so just when I ask him again I notice a lil blood trickling down the back of his neck. Ahh horseshit! So I take him inside and take him to the bathroom to get a better look at it in the light. Instantly I think he’s going to need stitches, granted this is coming form the girl who’s only had 1 stitch in her whole life, yep one single stitch in my finger when I was 6 after my brother stepped on my hand as I was touching a metal ant stake (When my mom asked Luke why he did it, “I don’t know”) I freaked out so bad that they had to strap me down to a board to get me to stay still haha Anyways, I ask Meg and Tess what they think and they both were unsure so I thought lets ask the dude in the house. At this point Luke was fine, he asked me to kiss it and was on his way. It wasn’t bleeding bad it was just a wide wound so I asked Cody what he thought considering he had like 20 staples in his leg at the moment haha and he was like “oh yeah he’s definitely going to need stitches” so Luke and I were on our way! I called the after hours nurse hotline wondering if I had to drive all the way downtown (minimum 40 min drive) to the Kaiser Hospital or if I could take him any where. While I was listening to the options I found out that one of the clinics was open “after hours” Jack pot! That way I don’t have to pay the $100 co pay at the emergency room! So next I call the LP to let him know what’s going on. He had called earlier and received a hall pass to go out for the night and was getting ready to go out with some friends. I told him I would just take him and if I need him to come I would call him later. Bad idea I should have just made him come considering I was about to experience the worst thing ever! So we get into the room and the doctor explains that instead of shooting him with a needle of anesthetic we were going to use a topical anesthetic, and yes I said WE! So he pours this liquid on a cotton ball, tells me to grab a glove, and that I’m going to hold this cotton ball on his head for 5 mins to numb the area, ummm I’m sorry WTF!!!!!! Am I a nurse getting paid right now and was unaware! Am I going to pick up a check at the front desk on my way out?!?! Seriously dude! So he starts off and puts it on Lukes wound and he of course starts screaming bloody murder and then the Doc is like “ok here you go” so I put pressure on the cotton ball and try to hold him with my other arm and calm him down. He’s just screaming and crying and saying “Mommy Stop” “Hurt Hurt” OMG it was awful. Now on our way there I was patting myself on the back because I thought I stayed cool under the pressure didn’t freak out at Tess’s house, and even told Luke in the car “good thing your Nonnie wasn’t here or she would be a panicking mess” hahaha little did I know I was going to be the one causing my lil man pain once we got there. So you can just imagine both of us in this lil room sitting on the table crying our eyes out. So I start signing this song my mom use to sing to me when I was super young when I was sick or hurt that we now sing to the boys and I finally get him calmed down then the fucking doctor walks in and says “well since he’s letting you hold it on there I’m going to have you do it for 5 more mins” Really dick that was just the worst 5 mins of my life right there buddy! Well Luke starts crying again and I’m trying not to cry and soothe him but I can’t keep it together at this point. Finally the 10 mins is up and the doc walks in with a nurse and I’m thinking where the fuck was she the last 10 mins! He grabs some gauze and cleaning stuff and starts to clean Luke’s head and get an idea of how big it is. And then all of a sudden he pulls out a glorified staple gun and proceeds to shoot 3 staples into my sons head without any warning. I obviously let out a gasp as I was not prepared for that! He asked if I was alright and I was just like “yeah I just didn’t realize it was an actual staple gun and some warning would have been nice” So he gives me some care instructions and we were done!! Luke was fine once he realized we were on our way home and passed out 3 mins into the trip. I called Josh to let him now what happened and told him that that was the last stapling I would be a part of :) I picked up Ryde from Tess’s which was nice that I didn’t have to take him along, that would have been hard to take care of him while I held Luke down in a wrestling move. Josh took Luke in today to get the staples removed and said he didn’t cry and barely notice what the nurse was doing so hopefully its healing nicely, ill have to check it out when I get home. Hopefully this will be our only experience with staples, haha here’s to wishful thinking right?!?

Heres a pic that Josh tried to get of the Staples but Luke was having none of it

Here is what an Ant Stake is hahaha cut my finger on the sharp corner back when they were metal, they are plastic now :)